Monday, July 12, 2010

Summer Movie Preview: July (Part 1):

Twilight: The Next-to-Last or Whatever It Is Chapter (already out): I'm still in truce mode with this franchise. It doesn't bother me, and I don't bother it. Somehow, seeing posters and t-shirts for it all over the place in public hasn't been enough to bother me. Hey, it's my own fault for going to the mall. I hope the "Twilighters" get what they're looking for out of this one. For me, it's a red light.

Last Airbender (already out) : M. Night Shamalamadingdong's films just get worse and worse each time out, and while this adaptation of a popular Nickelodeon cartoon may buck the trend, I don't want to gamble my money to find out. Yellow light. Let's hope the big twist in this one is that audiences actually walk away happy.

Love Ranch: (already out): This relatively low-profile film is about the first legal brothel in Nevada, but if you think this is at all sexy, just consider the male lead is Joe Pesci. I must admit the fact that the rarely seen Pesci chose this film intrigues me. 15 years ago, who would have thought Joe Pesci's presence in a movie would be a novelty? Yellow light.

Despicable Me: (opened this weekend): Steve Carell doing a cartoon villain voice sounds like pretty good casting, but the movie itself looks kind of pedestrian. I'll wait for reviews on this one. Then I'll probably wait for a cheap DVD rental. Yellow light.

Predators (opened this weekend): At this point, it's easier to just list the 1980s movies that aren't going to be "rebooted": "Sophie's Choice," "The Golden Child," "Two of a Kind," and "Sophie's Choice." Everything else is either in the works or is fair game (and if you're wondering, "Fair Game" is the title of an upcoming movie from Doug Liman based on the Valerie Plame case and is NOT, thank Heavens, a reboot of the 1995 Cindy Crawford vehicle).

Note to the filmmakers: I don't care if the Predators are "bigger and badder." Nor do I care if your update puts "a whole new twist" on the franchise. I'm done with Predators. Unless one of them goes head to head with Chris Hansen in this film, it rates an easy red light.

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