Vacation Time

I'm going on vacation for a few days, but I'll be back early next week. On tap then: a little music talk, a few 5Q Movie Reviews, and I really dive into the new TV season with a whole lot of "Should You Watch." See you then.

Cultureshark Remembers Stuff Magazine

Time to remind everyone that I am indeed...a guy.

Stuff Magazine is the latest lad mag to join the graveyard, outlasting FHM by mere months. Supposedly, Felix Dennis Publishing will carry on the Stuff tradition by including it as a section in older sister (hot older sister, I guess) mag Maxim, but I have to wonder if that one is next.

I still remember telling a friend about seeing Stuff on the newsstand. He mocked the "from the makers of Maxim" label. "If Maxim's not doing it for you..." he smirked. Well, he was right to mock it. Nobody really needed another magazine like that. I subscribed for a few years, and I certainly didn't need it. It was in many ways more of the same: slickness, snarkiness, and sexiness. A lot of pictures of babes, some nonthreatening celebrity infotainment, and some "stuff" to make the advertisers happy.

But it did have a niche. The title came from all the features on cars and gadgets and boring advertorials like that, but that's not what I noticed. The layouts in Stuff were better, slightly less airbrushed. The articles in Stuff--and yes, there were articles--were often funnier and more provocative. There weren't as much of those damned "men in stylish clothes" fashion layouts. Stuff was, dare I say, better than Maxim.

One hallmark of the mag's style was its tendency to make every single caption a smart-assed one. That was amusing for a while--"Hey, every caption is snarky!" But it quickly got out of hand, and soon it was more like, "Does every damned caption have to be snarky?" The whole publication got way out of hand with the sarcastic style, and it was often kind of a chore to read for any length of time--not that it really mattered. It was something like 8 bucks a year to subscribe, and that's why I got it.

And, hey, it was "Stuff," not the "Paris Review." You have to admire a periodical that recognized the hotness of Daisy Fuentes post-MTV and Stacy Keibler pre-Dancing With the Stars. The scantily-clad women adorned the cover and sold the issues, and if they weren't quite the big names that appeared in Maxim, so what? It actually made Stuff better. Frankly, the subjects were often more attractive and more willing to--well, they wore less clothes, OK? There, I said it.

I said good-bye to it years ago right about the time I moved in with my wife, then my girlfriend. Would you believe me if I told you that was a coincidence? It matters not. No, I didn't really need Stuff, but it was nice to look at for a while (and if you think I'm working towards a metaphor involving my wife, forget it!) before I moved on. Maybe there were some guys out there for whom Maxim WASN'T getting it done, and for them Stuff served its purpose.

At any rate, let's be honest. It was never a bad thing to have Alyssa Milano, the Miller Lite catfight girls, or Catherine Bell on another cover at the bookstore. Uh, especially if they were wearing a bathing suit.

Should You Watch? K-Ville

What better way to pay tribute to the folks who suffered through the events associated with Hurricane Katrina than to crank out a generic cop show that emphasizes not only the crime, but the corrupt institutions in New Orleans? In lieu of a direct donation to relief efforts in 2007, Fox has made its contribution with "K-Ville," a not-so-good show about a black cop/white cop team who go up against all sorts of forces while finding out how mismatched they are, blah, blah, blah.

I only watched the pilot of "K-Ville," and while I found the New Orleans setting novel, the attempt to be stylish in the shooting of the city really took away from some of that and made the episode look like just another wanna-be edgy crime show. That is particularly bad news since the story elements of that debut were so generic that the hour certainly didn't stand out THAT way. There's no reason a show can't use this city and its issues as a backdrop, but there's no reason it can't be a good show.

I really didn't find anything terrible about "K-Ville," but nothing made me want to return there. But maybe you're different.

You Should Watch "K-Ville" If:

*You feel guilty about not sending any money to Katrina relief--not guilty enough to send any money now, mind you, but enough to want to "raise your awareness" by watching a cop show.
*The idea of Anthony Anderson: Supercop makes you run to the store to get nachos and beer to settle in for a night of TV.
*You have no problem distinguishing Cole Hauser from Josh Lucas. Or Rutger Hauer, for that matter.
*You recently "sounded off" to "TV Guide" about the appalling lack of cop shows in primetime TV.
*You're desperate for something that's making New Orleans look worse than the Saints are right now.
*You hate Roger Clemens, think "K-Ville" is about him, and curse Fox for giving him a show. Then you can tune in and be pleasantly surprised.

This Week in DVD

*The Jungle Book: I just had a chilling thought. What if some unsuspecting set of folks buys this for their kid, only to find the tot is irritated because this one doesn't have John Goodman? Those stupid direct-to-video sequels...

*Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer: I don't know if this has officially become the blandest franchise going right now, but it has to be in the discussion. There were less terrible things in this one, but hardly any memorable things, either. Sure, the Surfer looked cool, but really, this series has been a huge missed opportunity.

*1408: That shortening theater-to-video window is good news for slackers like me who didn't make it out to see this one a few months ago. All I can do until I see the movie is think of that famous poem:
"Columbus sailed the ocean great
In 1408."

*The War: That's KEN BURNS' The War to you, son! If your recording mechanism of choice waved a white flag after being asked to grab over 15 hours of it on PBS over 7 nights, well, here's your chance to enjoy it on video. PBS is doing its part to salute the Greatest Generation by making them fork over the entirety of their Social Security checks to buy this expensive set. I guess PBS figures you're not just buying a DVD; you're making a backdoor pledge.

*Sarah Silverman Program Season 1: I saw this was on sale and remarked at what a great price was. Then I realized there are only, like, 6 episodes. Not such a bargain, then, really.

Brooks on Books: Jean Shepherd

If you don't recognize the late Jean Shepherd from his radio work or his short stories, surely you recognize his most famous creation. Turner Broadcasting's holiday staple "A Christmas Story" was based on Shepherd's work and narrated by the man himself. Many of the elements of that Xmas favorite--the Major Award, the attempt to decode the message on a Little Orphan Annie broadcast, and the epic quest for a Red Ryder BB gun--are found in Shepherd's 1964 book, "In God We Trust, All Others Play Cash."

Many of the short stories in this volume originally appeared in magazine form, but Shepherd constructed a framing device where he is a New York writer returning to his hometown in Indiana. He bellies up to the bar run by his childhood friend Flick, and their conversation reminds the narrator of a variety of stories of growing up in a Midwestern small town in the Depression.

These stories are full of vivid detail and often laugh-out-loud funny. Anyone who loves "A Christmas Story" will enjoy seeing those classic scenes play out on the page. Anyone who saw the less memorable 1994 film "My Summer Story" will also recognize some of the material and wonder again why it didn't work so well in that movie. But everyone can appreciate Shepherd's wry commentary as he pokes fun at Midwestern mores and rituals like bowling, car appreciation, and fishing. Using his narrator persona, he also sends up New York--with a bit more edge. He is visiting his hometown appreciative of what he's returning to even as he feels grateful for having escaped it. He teases East and Midwest, but the affection he has for his boyhood Indiana is clear.

Though the book is a lot of fun, it may be a mistake to plow through it as I did. Now, I happened to be in a situation where I had two hours of waiting and nothing to do BUT plow through to the conclusion. I enjoyed finishing it. But Shepherd's style is a bit overwhelming, and I think it loses its impact if you see it in large continuous doses. After a while, the purple prose, the self-conscious hyperbole (I think every other story involves an event that is "still remembered to this day"), and the frequent use of capitalization to identify something with mock importance as a Big Thing are effective devices, but probably more so in short story format.

However, I still enjoyed this book, and now I'm motivated to seek out Shepherd's other work. Radio was apparently his true calling, and I'd like to hear his efforts in that medium. After all, his gift as a storyteller is clear even from his narration in "A Christmas Story." It's easy to imagine Shepherd reading the text of "In God We Trust" to you...and it's hard not to think the experience would be just a little bit better if he were.

Wonderful World of TCM: Easter Parade

TCM is, of course, Turner Classic Movies, the Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind. My wife and I caught Easter Parade on there recently. It was the first time for each of us to see this 1948 Fred Astaire-Judy Garland musical. I must say, while the tunes were OK and the time passed quickly enough, I was disappointed.

Let's start with the leads. I just never got into the idea of a romance between Fred and Judy, and not just because he was nearly twice her age during filming. Uh, mostly because, but not just because. The two just never clicked for me. Since the whole story, sparse as it is, centers on the two of them falling love while building a spectacular dance act, well, that's an issue.

To be fair, I'm not a big Judy Garland fan unless she's paired with mythical creatures--you know, like The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, Mickey Rooney...All Growed Up Romantic Judy doesn't cut it for me, so Fred had his work cut out trying to sell this one.

I'll tell you who I do like: Ann Miller, someone with reference to whom I can say "gorgeous gams" without feeling like a total moron. She's attractive, charismatic, and dances up a storm. In fact, TCM was screening "Easter Parade" as part of a daylong salute to her. Unfortunately, from the get-go in this film, she is a clear heel, blindsiding poor ol' Fred by suddenly leaving their act for lucrative solo pastures--this after the poor schnook thought they were a couple.

So Fred plucks greenhorn Judy from obscurity and makes a new act, and, allegedly, romance ensues between them while Ann gets to act bitchy. I felt a little better post-screening when Bobby Osborne told us this movie catapulted Miller into A pictures, but still, she deserved better.

All the while, you have Peter Lawford's character hanging around and hanging on. MILD SPOILERS: He indulges Ann's overtures, falls in love with Judy in about 2 minutes, is decisively rejected by Judy for Fred, but then creepily lingers around like a third wheel, rarely missing a chance to remind Garland he still loves her. And oh, yeah, he still "goes out with" Ann. In real life, of course, some of that makes sense--did I mention I like Ann Miller?--but in this story it makes him look deranged. Weeks after watching "Easter Parade," the wife and I are still scratching our heads trying to figure out his deal.

Having said all that, the technicolor is pleasant, the Irving Berlin tunes are fun, and there are some interesting dance numbers. But this is a second-tier musical to my eyes, though it's a nice one to have on standby for Easter if you're tired of Biblical epics and "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown."