This Week in DVD

For those of you who aren't looking for "Grand Theft Auto" at the stores this week...

Cloverfield: Rumble. Jitter. Quake. Take your pick: The camera, the city, your stomach. That's what "Cloverfield" boils down to. But hey, I haven't actually seen the movie, so I could be wrong. I just know I'll be glad to see it at home where I don't have to run up the aisles and into the lobby if my gut revolts.

27 Dresses: Remember that Bruce Springsteen song, "27 Dresses and nothin' on?" That's not how it went? Well, it conjures up a better image of this Katherine Heigl chick flick than what made it to theaters.

Cheers Season 9: I have nothing notable to say about the ninth season, but it's good to see it's here. It's amazing that fans of the show actually feared it was abandoned on DVD. If a classic like "Cheers" could be abandoned on DVD, folks...then GOD HELP US ALL.

Burke's Law Season 1 Part 1: This fun detective show starred Gene Barry as a playboy police dick who solved murders each week while interacting with a host of guest stars. It's so cool to see this one out on DVD that I won't make an issue out of VCI following the Paramount Way and resorting to split-season sets.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: I'm always up front with my readers, and this post is no exception: This Julian Schnabel film drew rapturous reviews and awards recognition. And months later, I still have no desire to see it.

Forgotten Noir Collection 3: Speaking of VCI, they come back with another set of oldies but not necessarily noiries. But who cares if they're cranking out otherwise unseen crime films and thrillers at reasonable prices?

The Golden Compass: If Nicole Kidman=Box Office Poison, Nicole Kidman + Daniel Craig must = Box Office Anthrax.

OK, for my first post back, that last one was kind of weak...

But what do you want, eh? I just had a BABY!

Come to think of it, that's gonna be my excuse for just about anything for as long as I can get away with it.

Made a weak Cultureshark post?
Hey, I just had a baby!

Forgot to file your income taxes?
Hey, I just had a baby!

Accidentally gave nuclear launch codes to a rogue nation?
Hey, I just had a baby!

Rented "Baby Geniuses 2"?
Hey, I--ah, there's no excuse for that one.

This I Believe

I believe that one day in the not-too-distant future, perhaps 10-15 years from now...

America will look back and regret that it gave "The Hoff" nickname to David Hasselhoff and not to Philip Seymour Hoffman.

This I believe.

New Addition to the Shark Family

My apologies for the lack of posting around here in the recent past, present, and possibly near future, but I think I have a decent excuse. My wife gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter last week, and things have been hectic.

Of course, you can expect soon a resumption of normal posting with such regular Cultureshark features as "This Week in Baby Einstein," "5Q Sesame Street Review," and "Should You Watch: Barney and Friends."

Now You (Don't) See It, Now You Won't: Secret Talents of the Stars

The difficult thing about blogging about TV these days and trying to stay relevant is that many of the worst shows get canceled before you can make fun of them.

Fortunately, I never worry about staying relevant.

Ah, I could make fun of "Secret Talents of the Stars," but by now, everybody else has beaten me to it, and I'm not sure if it was so much a case of it being a terrible idea as it was just the stars not being so talented. Sasha Cohen's flexibility routine appealed to prurient interests, and so did Mya's unexceptional dance number, but Clint Black's attempt at standup comedy had anyone who saw it trying to stand up and bolt to the exits.

I recorded the show to see George Takei sing country and western, and, well, I saw it. It won't be remembered as a landmark performance in the history of the genre. But as bad as it was--and I don't exactly know why, but this is the case--if Mr. Sulu was singing "On the Road Again" at a local dive bar, I'd gladly pay a $10 cover and buy a few cold ones for the privilege of seeing it.

Alas, CBS, which for some reason has the unreasonable expectation that people WATCH the shows it broadcast, yanked this series after that one episode. So we'll never see Ric Flair do salsa dancing or Casper the Friendly Ghost pitch horseshoes or Ashton Kutcher count to 10. It seems like only a few years ago that the 1969 "Laugh-In" clone "Turn-On" was notorious for being canned after one airing. Nowadays it seems that this is happening all the time. What I want to see is a show canceled halfway through the premiere. It would be great if some exec just came on camera, said, "Boy, this just isn't working," and put on some old cartoons for the rest of the half-hour.

This Week in DVD

Walk Hard: I actually just watched the theatrical version of this a few days ago. Check out the Shark Bites section for my take.

Aw, what the heck, I'll go ahead and tell you I was disappointed. But if you are a fan of the movie, the DVD is packed to the Vince Gills with extras.

Lions for Lambs: Remember that left-wing politics prof you had who would occasionally go off in a harangue about U.S. policy on something or other? Remember how you'd try to skip those lectures and go get a burger?

Corner Gas: Two seasons come oot of that Canadian sitcom WGN shows 10 times a day.

Bette Davis Centenary Collection: Sadly, the only people who know what "Centenary" means are likely the only people who know who Bette Davis is these days. This FOX set is a mix of previously released movies with some minor additions and some new-to-DVD titles.

There Will Be Blood: Oh, how I wanted to see this in theaters. It was like those ads I always see for Sonic (see, because Sonic sells milkshakes, and in the film, Daniel Day-Lewis says...eh, never mind). Always tempting me, yet never really accessible because there is not one in my area. Funny, though, now that this is on DVD, I still find it tough to set aside the, what, 5 hours it will take to get through it. Maybe I'll schedule the chicken pox next week.

Perry Mason Anniversary Edition: This "best of" (really, like most such collections, more like a "guest of," apparently, with the focus on celebrity appearances) contains kick-ass extras and an assortment of episodes not already issued in the season half-sets that have appeared. It looks like another class package from DVD producer Paul Brownstein. But if you go to Amazon, take a look at the reviews and you'll see series fans crapping all over this release.

Why? They want season sets, and they want them much faster than they've been getting them. This collection does not come with a guarantee that Paramount will finish the series--or even continue it. In a perfect world, casual fans could pick up this set, while collectors could buy it for the extras but still rest assured the rest of the seasons were on the way. But collectors know better than to count on that.

Hey, Brownstein put together an awesome, awesome 50th Anniversary "Sgt. Bilko" set a few years ago, the sales were reportedly poor, and I'm still waiting for season sets.