'Mooners Monday: Opportunity Knocks But

You know, this is a funny episode that need not hang its head, but for some reason I just can't think of much to say about it. It offers some great Honeymooners staples: Ralph getting jealous of Norton over some mix-up, Ralph's shameless courting of his boss' affection, and billiards! Yet I don't see a need to do much other than sit back and enjoy it.

The Official Honeymooners Treasury doesn't add much to the conversation, giving this episode a measly 3 pages including the "title page" that sets up each episode chapter with the name, writers, airdate, and a still frame. That leaves just 2 pages of trivia and none of the tidbits/interview excerpts that make the book such a regular riot.

So maybe there isn't a ton that stands out to us, but I'd love to hear from others about memorable moments. Opportunity does feature maybe my favorite "Ralph throws out Ed" of all time. Ralph gets progressively angry as Ed talks about being Ralph's boss at the Gotham Bus Company.

Finally, Ralph erupts and gives the wordless heave-ho, made even funnier by Ed's wordless confirmation that he is indeed being kicked off the premises.

 

Streaming Video Power Rankings #108

1) Hulu: I've been watching Gotham and Brooklyn Nine-Nine here, but I am also looking forward to the new Hulu original documentary about Barbie. Handmaid's Tale is still the flagship original, and it is getting excellent reviews. As if that weren't enough (and, hey, it isn't enough; I mean, we're all paying for this, so why not ask for more),  several older series are getting the ol' streaming treatment from me as I get ready for more Battle of the Network Shows episodes.

2) Netflix: I wasn't feeling well one night, and it was nice to be able to just put on a Frasier and relax, no muss, no fuss. In other news, a bunch of Disney stuff is leaving in May, and that's bad. However, there are plenty of premieres this week. Candy Jar is about a high school debate team, which sounds like a tired premise and--wait, Christina Hendricks is in it? Hmm...

The CW/Netflix deal actually has me watching less CW because those shows appear so quickly on here. There is a new Sandler/Rock movie, and it probably sucks but will be one of the most viewed things on the SVOD all month. And, er, ah, I am, er, ah, intrigued by the RFK docuseries because even though I am weary of Kennedy mythology, I enjoy political history docs. Another interesting bit of news: Netflix is creating a podcast based on its true crime docuseries like Making a Murderer.

3) Disney Now: My kids were delighted to discover the entire run of XD sitcom Kickin' It on here months after it left Netflix. At a minimum, that Disney paid service that's coming should have everything on Disney Now. At a minimum. I still worry it's gonna be stingy. Witness all the titles leaving Netflix in May, like the Favreau Jungle Book that premiered on Netflix less than a year and a half ago. That Netflix/Disney deal was cool but not nearly as extensive as many thought. I'm betting that's Disney's doing.

4) Filmstruck: I will probably not sign on right away now that my trial has expired, but it's not because I don't love Filmstruck. I just have a ton of other stuff to watch and have to give this one a break. It will be back, though, and this week it added Busby Berkley flicks, a ton of Ozu movies, and Star of the Week Marlon Brando (including TCM Select addition A Streetcar Named Desire).

As for me, I saw The Goodbye Girl and The Sunshine Boys. I guess it was Herbert Ross Week at Cultureshark Tower.

5) Warner Archive Instant: Consider this a final goodbye to the perennial underachiever that still brought me much joy over the last few years. I went out watching some Dr. Kildare, a show I grew to love after discovering it here. I make another plea for Warner or someone to provide a home for the rare vintage TV that was prominent on WAI.

6) WWE Network: Hey, whaddya know, thanks to a spectacular deal, I am a subscriber again. The bloated Saudi Arabia-set cash grab event it aired Friday wasn't great, but it was content. Personally I enjoyed the Bruno Sammartino tribute special it unveiled Monday and will be happy watching old stuff into the summer.

7) YouTube: When I got an old Rainbow Brite jingle in my head and wanted to play it for my on kids, where did I turn? My own personal collection? Nope. YouTube. I'm also pleased that Lou Grant episodes are still here.

8) HBO Go/HBO Now: I finally saw La La Land thanks to HBO. Barry is getting great reviews, and even when  there is bad Game of Thrones news--like another reminder that the novels are never gonna be finished--it seems to only stir interest in the return of the TV series.

9) IFC: There isn't a lot going on here, but the great Brockmire is back, and I was able to see the second-season premiere free of charge, so that is a big plus right there.

10) My Retro Flix: After months of inaction, this channel added a bunch of old Our Gang shorts. It sneaks into the top 10 by reminding us it exists.

5Q Movie Review: Black Panther

This time, I am going to do this a little differently and give the questions but not the answers. Yes, I will let you the reader do the work!

OK, now that I drove off all of my readership, I think Black Panther is a good movie that I place in the top tier of modern Marvel Comics movies. I enjoyed it much more than I did the last two Avengers joints.

These are 5 questions the movie makes me ponder. It feels like I was the last person to see this, so why bother attempting a straight review?

Q: Isn't it great that the setting and tone was so distinct from other recent Marvel movies? Shouldn't Marvel mix it up a little more going forward? (OK, that's two, but they're related)

Q: While the movie feels like it is about something and like it considers ideas and principles in a way unlike recent Marvel movies (Captain America: Civil War should have had some amount of depth), would it have been even more provocative by making Killmonger less of a cartoonish villain?

At points in the movie, mainly the beginning and end of Killmonger's arc, there is some sympathy for his character, but in between he goes over the top and lets characters and viewers off the hook a bit. You could argue that some of his ideas are worth considering, but he ultimately is just a selfish super villain with less credibility than, say, Magneto in the recent X-Men movies. I understand why the movie didn't go this direction, but presenting him as a legit  counterpoint to T'Challa would have made a fascinating alternate movie.

Q: In "real life" how would the United Nations react to a high-minded speech about making the world better and leading the right way from a country that determines its leader in part through MMA-style brawls to the death? What would the reaction be if a country of white-skinned people had a succession ritual that involved such a practice? Wouldn't people call it barbaric? Is there a difference if it is put forth as an African "tradition"?

Q: Isn't the idea of rule by monarch kind of outdated in today's world? Wouldn't it be interesting to learn more about  the inner workings of Wakanda and see why intelligent people with such sophisticated technology still go by the old tradition of rule by King? I for one hope we see more of Wakanda in the sequel. I don't really care about how it interacts with the outside world, at least not yet when there is so much more to go with here. And by the way, the notion that the country could keep such secrets hidden for so long strikes me as a thin one, so it's cool that the movie ditches it by the end.

Q: Why in the world would I buy a regular popcorn for $1 less than the large popcorn when the latter is about 3 times as big? (It had been a while since I bought food at a movie theater)

Streaming Video Power Rankings #107

1) Warner Archive Instant: Ladies and gentlemen, I have fulfilled my life's destiny and watched all episodes of Eight Is Enough on WAI. Umpteen months of WAI is still less than the 200-250 bucks it would have cost to buy the DVDs. That is why I will miss Warner Instant when it goes dark this week. I won't get through all the Dr. Kildare, but I enjoyed quite a bit of that classic series over the years as well. Farewell, WAI, and may something like Harry O somehow find another streaming home.

2) HBO Go: The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling is amazing and worth the price of a month of HBO alone, and the fact that all of The Larry Sanders Show is right there to dive into afterwards is a fantastic bonus.

3) Netflix: Still the easiest and best place to watch Cheers even though it is streaming seemingly everywhere. Therefore, when Harry Anderson died this week and I wanted to see a Harry the Hat episode, I went to Netflix. It sure would be great if Night Court were streaming somewhere.

Otherwise, Netflix got some headlines this week, but none of the adds really excite me. Kodachrome and Mercury 13 sound good, but otherwise, just a quiet and steady week of Netflix while I binged on Eight Is Enough.

4) Filmstruck: New this week are a bunch of Liz Taylor movies, early Hitchcock, a selection from the Maysles brothers, and a fun mini-category called "it Could Be Worse," featuring Wag the Dog, Escape from New York, and Mars Attacks! Personal note on that last one: I have a fond memory of seeing it with my dad when it opened, the two of us laughing and having a blast the whole time and wondering as we left why the hell nobody else in the theater seemed to be enjoying it. Did they think it was supposed to be a straight-up action/sci-fi movie?

I watched Mario Bava's Planet of Vampires (as opposed to Woody Allen's Planet of Vampires, right?)  and All the Marbles, which has to be the definitive Peter Falk women's wrestling movie.

5) Prime Video: Thank you, Prime, for making possible an upcoming episode of Battle of the Network Shows, the smash podcast covering TV of the 1970s and 1980s.  Thank you, also, for adding goofy stuff like the 1978 paranormal documentary The Force Beyond, which has to be worth at least a look.

6) Hulu: Hey, it looks like new episodes of Teen Titans Go! are fresh on the service, which may prevent my kids from going back to Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Also, word is strong on Handmaid's Tale season 2, and there is a lot of buzz about the upcoming Catch 22 series, even if George Clooney is stepping out of a lead role.

7) YouTube:  Honestly, it would get a spot in the top 10 just for the Mickey Rooney/David Naughton Dr. Pepper commercial that was uploaded this week.

8) The CW: I thought Black Lightning delivered a satisfying conclusion to its first season. Let's hope it maintains its distinctive voice next season and avoids rehashing what we saw this time out. There is some real potential here.

9) Boomerang: Captain Planet is free this weekend in honor of Earth Day!

OK, so I don't know anyone who watched the show when it originally aired, nor anyone who watched it since. It's still cool of Boomerang to do this.

10) FX Now: I still have major issues with FX Now, even if it does brag about now having Fox shows and National Geographic shows, but Atlanta is so good that I have to be thankful this exists.

Half-Assed Gourmet: DQ is your source for country gravy and toast?

On various "apps" and streaming video services, I keep running into a Dairy Queen ad touting "fan food"--not fast food, mind you, but fan food--in the form of a chicken strip basket. I am not a regular Dairy Queen customer, and it's been years since I had anything besides ice cream, but when I have indulged, I have enjoyed it. I recall the best thing being how freaking hot it was. I guess when you are the only idiot that comes in and makes them fire up the grill for a burger, you have a good shot at getting something fresh and sizzling.

I don't think this promotion is going to lure me in there. The chicken strips look fine--I mean, they're chicken strips; how can they not be--but DQ muddies the waters by introducing an actual murky liquid: GRAVY. It's not just any gravy, it's country gravy.

I hate gravy. I don't like it with turkey, not with sausage, and not with chicken strips. I hate gravy so much that if nacho cheese, which I love, were called Mexican gravy, I would hate it. Under no circumstances do I want any gravy-ish substance in a basket of fast food. How about some honey mustard of buffalo sauce instead? That's how I roll. No disrespect intended to Rural America.

Fortunately, DQ offers its country gravy in a side cup, so I presume that even if I begged them to leave it out of the basket and they forgot, I could pluck it away from the food and hurl it into the sun the way Superman did when Lex Luthor tried to poison the Metropolis water supply with generic country gravy (Ed. Note: See Weird-Ass Adventures #46.4). That's a good thing, but we need to talk about something else, the other thing that the commercial feels worthy of a hearty brag.

This basket comes with toast.

Yep, toast.

Part of the reason I eat fast food is that I want something I can't make at home with speed or ease. Toast is perhaps the single easiest thing one can make. Why go to a fast food joint and pay for it? Even if you consider it a throw-in, it looks superfluous. Chicken, fries...toast. Just how good can it be to make it seem like a big deal? IT'S TOAST!

Are we supposed to dip our toast in the country gravy? We know that ain't happening. Look, I don't mind toast as a delightful complement to real food in a breakfast platter, or as a quick wake-me-up in the morning, but let's not make toast a fast food thing, country or not.

Hey, wait! I just figured out how Dairy Queen can make me care about its toast. Put some ice cream on it, then some whipped cream, then some bananas slices, and then some chocolate syrup. Then just hold the toast, bring me a bill for the banana split, and then you haven't broken any rules.

Behind the Rankings: To find out about Netflix, go to YouTube

I mentioned before my pet peeve of websites that run a list of "What's Coming to Netflix Next Month" but either just run a list of titles or, worse, describe movies like Lethal Weapon or Zootopia but give zero info on the long list of originals. In any given month, there are a few Netflix Originals I have heard about, a few others I heard about but forgot long ago, and then a whole bunch about which I know nothing.

THAT is the kind of info we need, not propaganda like, "You're gonna love the fact that the original Batman movies are back for their annual stint!" Have you really investigated all the original series and movies before they drop? There are documentaries and foreign series and standup specials and--oh, no, now I am starting to sound like propaganda.

My point is that if it doesn't have Adam Sandler or a talking robot, chances are we don't know much about it. This is why I now appreciate the Looper YouTube channel so much. Each month, the site puts together a sizzle reel of sorts highlight all the stuff coming to Netflix. It distinguishes itself from the sizzle reel Netflix itself puts out by showing many more titles and by using words.

Yes, words. See, pretty pictures are enough to sell a project sometimes, but when you have 5-10 seconds before moving on to the next glamour shot, it helps to have a little context. Looper does this with concise, sometimes cheeky voiceover commentary that explains what the heck these Netflix Originals are.

It sounds like a simple concept, right? Yeah, it is, but I don't see many others doing it. I don't need to see a bunch of cool shots of Lost In Space; the trailer for something like that has already been circulating.  What I need is a bit of background on the Brazilian crime drama or the war movie or the reality show about fashion models competing in barbecue contests. OK, actually, I am fine prejudging that last one and don't need any info, but my point stands.

So consider this a shout-out to Looper. It looks like they run a lot of clickbait, but, hey, clickbait ain't always bad.  More importantly, at least once a month they offer a great service to Netflix subscribers.